I wonder if I'll ever feel settled.

Maybe i'll not.

Why should i feel settled,

i don't belong to anyone

or 

anywhere.

but everything and

everyone are my own.

A sense of settlement 

would just mean

accepting the 

invisible 

and innumerable

bondage 

of life

of the world;

Something,

sometimes

you are better off without.

Love Entangles.

How hard is to understand 

the fact that the one person ,

you loved the most,

trusted the most

was 

actually never in love with you,

all this while , all

that you saw was not,

his love for you,

but,

your love for him,

your love which you wanted from him.

Every little thing seems endearing ,

not cause they are,

but only because in your heart,

in your world,

you want them to be,

cause your world is filled with just 

Love for him.

Not the love he has for you,

but only the love you

have for him.

Your love alone is the reason

 you are still in love. 

and 

the only your love is the reason 

someone is in love with 

You.

Slowly Slipping away.

I am scared there is no one who can hug me 

and

take my worries away.

The only person i have 

and 

i want is far away from me

and 

slowly going away from me.

I guess he'll not understand

I won't be able to explain it to him either.

how much i love him,

what he means to me,

How much

 I Miss Him.

It hurts me to hurt you,

but 

the pleasure is so more than the pain..

Healing me Slowly.

can anything written somewhere in the past hurt you still

make you feel the pain like a fresh wound,

maybe it can if it was the truth,

and so i read it till today,

and everyday,

to remind myself of the truth.

read it till the pain goes away.

till all i feel after it is just numbness.

The first time in saw it all i felt was anger,

and outrage,

but now all that is gone,

its just pain.

there are many more i need courage to read .
I guess ill read it till,
the pain i feel is taken over by 
calmness & peace. 
a understanding that what has happened
has taught me something,
which i'll be able to learn only if
i can let the pain go. 

Maybes : Scribbling from the past.

Maybe it wasn't meant to be

or

maybe this is where our journey ... our story has to end,

its not important to have a happy ending to everything,

Maybe this is among the ones which keeps everyone guessing,

 whats going to happen next,

I wanted to talk to him so badly yesterday,

and

I could not 

Maybe our story will fade away just like this slowly

and with pleasant memories.

I might not have the beautiful eyes your looking for,
or the slender legs your searching,

I might not have the curves
or the infectious smile that melts your heart,

I might not be beautiful,
or pretty

I might not be the perfect someone you want
But i'm still o.k with it
cause i know i love ME .